We are often told to have goals; and truth be told, we probably should. Goals help us quantify what we want and help us move towards it. So what’s the danger with goals? Think about the last goal that you had. Maybe it was difficult to get to? How did you feel once you achieved it? I bet you felt pretty good. How about a month later? What about the next year? The happiness of achieving that goal was fleeting at best. The happiness associated with the completion of that goals leaves as quick as the next goal that replaces it.
So if we have a goal driven life, we are at danger of having a happiness that is connected to achievement (and I have personally failed at reaching many goals). So if we do not make the goal, we are not happy. If we make the goal, the happiness is short lived. It’s a doom cycle that many of us fall into.
There is another alternative, and it doesn’t give up on having goals. It’s living a value-based life instead of a goal-driven life. A value-based life holds on to principles that you value whether you achieve your goals or not. For instance, if your goal is to own your own home but your value is family, whether you own your own home or not, if you have a great relationship with your family, you can still have happiness. It’s like taking a road trip. We all want to get to our final destination (the goal), but we will have a way better time on the journey if we are open to possibilities and curiosity along the way.