I was taught early on in my counseling career that the word “Should” is a nasty word to use. “Life SHOULD not be this way.” “I SHOULD be further along in my career.” “My kids SHOULD be doing better.” All of these examples are projections of fantasy. That is the danger of using the word “Should.” What is the reality? Let’s flip all of these statements by removing that nasty little word. “Life is this way.” “I am not further along in my career.” “My kids are not meeting (whose?) expectations.” Now these statements match reality.
So what happens when we go from fantasy to reality? I will quote the famous Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to ACCEPT the things I cannot change, the COURAGE (or COMMITMENT) to change the things I can, and the WISDOM to know the difference. Stay curious!